Number Neighbors
BAD IDEA #241: Sending a dirty text to your number neighbor.
In my defense, my friends did it too, and their neighbors took it as the joke it was.
Mine didn’t.
He responded with a dirty text of his own. Next thing I know, I have a standing texting date every night at ten-thirty.
Until I have to miss it because the stray kitten who adopted me one week ago is sick. The only person I know who can help me at this time of night is my British next-door neighbor and local vet, Isaac Cooper.
I’ll keep him overnight, he says. Here’s my number to call me in the morning, he says.
The problem?
I know that number.
Because I’ve been texting it every night for the last four days…
TEASER: NUMBER NEIGHBORS by EMMA HART💙💙
NUMBER NEIGHBOR: So your favorite sex position is doggy? Shoulders down or up?
ME: This is woefully unexciting if this is sexting.
NN: I’m trying to picture it in my mind so I can tell you.
ME: You don’t know what I look like.
NN: This is the only time I can justify imagining fucking Scarlett Johansson. Work with me, stranger.
ME: K, fine. You’re Nick Jonas in my head anyway.
NN: Right. Shoulders up or down?
ME: Depends how hard you’re going to pull my hair.
NN: …Up it is.
ME: I like this.
NN: What color IS your hair?
ME: Dark brown.
NN: That works. Ready for this?
ME: I don’t think I have a choice.
NN: Sure you do. But you should know that I’m already hard.
Wow. Okay. Sexting did come with perks, even if it was a stranger.
ME: This better be good. Go. Wow me.
TEASER: NUMBER NEIGHBORS by EMMA HART💙💙
NUMBER NEIGHBOR: So your favorite sex position is doggy? Shoulders down or up?
ME: This is woefully unexciting if this is sexting.
NN: I’m trying to picture it in my mind so I can tell you.
ME: You don’t know what I look like.
NN: This is the only time I can justify imagining fucking Scarlett Johansson. Work with me, stranger.
ME: K, fine. You’re Nick Jonas in my head anyway.
NN: Right. Shoulders up or down?
ME: Depends how hard you’re going to pull my hair.
NN: …Up it is.
ME: I like this.
NN: What color IS your hair?
ME: Dark brown.
NN: That works. Ready for this?
ME: I don’t think I have a choice.
NN: Sure you do. But you should know that I’m already hard.
Wow. Okay. Sexting did come with perks, even if it was a stranger.
ME: This better be good. Go. Wow me.
TEASER: NUMBER NEIGHBORS by EMMA HART💙💙
NUMBER NEIGHBOR: So your favorite sex position is doggy? Shoulders down or up?
ME: This is woefully unexciting if this is sexting.
NN: I’m trying to picture it in my mind so I can tell you.
ME: You don’t know what I look like.
NN: This is the only time I can justify imagining fucking Scarlett Johansson. Work with me, stranger.
ME: K, fine. You’re Nick Jonas in my head anyway.
NN: Right. Shoulders up or down?
ME: Depends how hard you’re going to pull my hair.
NN: …Up it is.
ME: I like this.
NN: What color IS your hair?
ME: Dark brown.
NN: That works. Ready for this?
ME: I don’t think I have a choice.
NN: Sure you do. But you should know that I’m already hard.
Wow. Okay. Sexting did come with perks, even if it was a stranger.
ME: This better be good. Go. Wow me.
Amazon US → https://amzn.to/32ZMq5b
Amazon UK → https://amzn.to/34dtgZz
Apple Books → https://emmahart.pub/nnapple
Nook → https://emmahart.pub/nnnook
Kobo → https://emmahart.pub/nnkobo
