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Comparison, the Thief of Joy

Comparison, the Thief of Joy

We’ve all been there.

Social media makes it easy for us to do it.

You’re having an awesome day, trolling through insta or Facebook and you hate-like someones status that basically makes you feel like you have nothing to offer the world.

EVEN THE BEST most KINDEST people on this planet have these moments. Moments where for just a few seconds you ask yourself. “Why not me?” I truly dont think thats a bad thing to ask yourself, it’s when you start comparing yourself to that person, to their body, their success, their kid, pet, book sales, heck even their perfect hair or makeup—thats when you start to lose your grip on your own security.

My husband says insecurity is one of the most unattractive things out there and I have to agree with him, insecurity turns the best sort of people into absolute monsters. It causes people to lash out, to blow things out of proportion, to gossip, to make bad decisions based off emotion—Insecurity is dangerous. There is absolutely NOTHING insecurity offers you except for anxiety and depression, it promises that if you just talk trash about that person or make that Facebook post you’ll feel better and then it chuckles in the dark when you need more and more validation from complete strangers in order to feel good about yourself, it acts like a drug when you dont feed it, and it depletes you emotionally so that you’re stuck in a deep dark hole you dont even remember falling into.

It’s one hundred percent okay to look at someone and go man I wish…or if only, besides you’re only human, but your reaction to whatever is triggering you is EVERYTHING.

So my challenge is this: When you’re tempted to rant, gossip, make a poor choice, blow something out of proportion, have a pity party, give up, or just stay in bed….ask yourself this. WHY NOT ME. But dont say it in a whiny defeated voice.

Say it like you mean it. Say it with purpose.
Why NOT you? Whats holding you back?

Is it your sleep schedule? Is it finances? Is it anxiety? What’s keeping you from those things that are just out of your grasp, the things that you want so desperately that you hate when others have them.

I’m at nature a problem solver, if I see something I dont understand I want to fix it, when I first started writing I googled so much that its almost embarrassing, because in my mind information is power, it’s my sword, my currency, if I dont know how to do it you better believe Im gonna figure it out.

Why is it that its easier to help others with their problems than with our own? Because we see every single angle because we aren’t blinded by our own insecurity our own baggage. A friend once told me to celebrate the small things, the tiny victories, if you enter into your day with thankfulness over what you DO have then it’s amazing how your perspective shifts, you can then ask yourself, why not me? I can do that! Im awesome! Why not me? I’m a strong woman. Why not me? I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.

Amazing. How our bodies follow what we say. Say it out loud. I’m thankful for XYZ even if you’re just thankful for the bananas in your house, its SOMETHING and when you enter your day with a heart of thankfulness it’s so much easier to gain a better perspective on the world around you.

I struggle with this, I truly do, I’m coming from a place of raising my hand going, Yup the is me! It’s so easy to get weighed down by the things around us, but use thankfulness to open your eyes to all the possibilities that are set out ahead of you.

You have an incredible destiny.

A path only YOU can walk on.

So, stand. And get to walking.

Until next time…hugs, RVD

About The Author

Rachel Van Dyken

Rachel Van Dyken is the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA TODAY Bestselling author of regency and contemporary romances. When she's not writing you can find her drinking coffee at Starbucks and plotting her next book while watching The Bachelor. She keeps her home in Idaho with her Husband and, adorable son. She loves to hear from readers!

Book Release Dates

September 2021

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Releases Aug 17 2021